Tattoos - true love will never fade

What is the motivation or psychology behind obtaining a tattoo? Tattooing as a form of decorative body art has moved out of the realm of cults and organisations into mainstream society. It is increasingly common to see patients sporting a new tattoo. "Just like that, doctor. My friends were getting one". The Pune magazines reflect this new found art form through full page articles every other week. Driving through the some parts of Pune takes you past at least three studios specialising in the art of tattooing.

Here we are concerned with the psychological aspects of tattooing. As compared to body-piercing, a tattoo is relatively permanent and more deliberate operation. For the moment set aside doubts over hygiene, HIV, and hepatitis.

10 reasons people get a tattoo

1. Beauty, art, and fashion. Tattoos are a means of decorating the body with a permanent fashion accessory. Many tattooed individuals refer to their tattoos as a piece of art. 
2. Individuality. A tattoo fulfils the desire to create a distinct self-identity. The symbols or words embellishing the skin creates a special message that distinguishes the person from others. The individual gains a sense of control over their appearance and identity. We see this especially in teenagers brought in by their parents.
3. Personal narrative. Women recovering from abuse create a new understanding of the injured part of the body. They reclaim possession through the deliberate and painful procedure of body modification. Tattoos have a self-healing effect in this reclamation of the body. 
4. Physical endurance. For some tattoos are a statement about testing their threshold for pain endurance.  
5. Group affiliations and commitment. Body ornaments are a permanent sign of love and commitment. The wish to belong to a certain community or to show affiliation to a particular group is a common reason for getting a tattoo. 
6. Resistance. Tattoos are a provocative protest against parents and society, especially in college students. Body modification has long been associated with subcultural movements and criminal tendencies. Until recently most studies on tattooing were done on prison populations.
7. Spirituality and cultural tradition. Body modifications emphasise personal affiliation to cultures and their spirituality. Esoteric symbols that convey special meaning are tattooed as a permanent reminder.
8. Addiction. Tattoos and piercings possess an addictive character through the release of endorphins. These substances are released in brain areas in association with painful penetration of the body.
9. Sexual motivation. Tattooing is a form of expressing sexual affectations and of emphasising ones own sexuality. 
10. No specific reason. A tattoo may be obtained impulsively on the spur of the moment. Some individuals may be under the influence of alcohol or drugs while acquiring their piece of body art.

Reasons people have a tattoo removed

People are mostly satisfied with the actual design of their tattoo.

Most want their tattoo removed for personal reasons. This occurs when the quest for uniqueness turns into stigma, negative comments, and clothes problems. Poor decision making and subsequent personal regret seem to be frequent motivations for tattoo removal.

An improved sense of self and maturity is another factor. Especially for those who obtained their tattoos for internal expectations of self-identity at an early age. Many are still trying to dissociate from the past and improve self-identity. More than 40% of persons who choose a tattoo to feel unique are disillusioned when their unique product loses its luster and excitement.

Professional/social reasons account for another third of those motivated for tattoo removal. A new job or career is a major motivation. Negative workplace attitudes toward tattoos and perceived interference for a tattooed individual’s achievement is common. There is a perception of lowered credibility, competence, and sociability that diminishes the image of tattoo wearer in the workplace.

The possession risks are more for women than for men. More than two thirds of those seeking tattoo removal are women. Society support for women with tattoos is not as strong as for men. Strong tattoo support from significant others and friends is counterbalanced by negative remarks about the tattoos from fathers, physicians, and the public. Negative responses are also documented among career-oriented women with tattoos. Women still need to deliberately think about controlling the body placement of their tattoos to avoid the possession risks and to increase their own psychological comfort.

References

1. Armstrong ML, Roberts AE, Koch JR, Saunders JC, Owen DC, Anderson RR. Motivation for contemporary tattoo removal: a shift in identity. Arch Dermatol. 2008 Jul;144(7):879-84.
2. Silke Wohlrab, Jutta Stahl, Peter M. Kappeler. Modifying the body: Motivations for getting tattooed and pierced. Body Image 4 (2007) 87–95.

Rejection and aggression - the fury of the scorned male

Rejection experienced in an intimate relationship can trigger unexpected aggression with sometimes fatal consequences. A working woman in Pune was stabbed to death in her home when she spurned the marriage proposal of a good friend. Another 17 year-old girl from Hadapsar was stabbed in the stomach for rebuffing the overtures of a relative. Why would a man assault a woman after professing his love to her? Many instances of aggression arise from events where an individual perceives he is not sufficiently loved or valued in the context of an intimate relationship.

People differ in their readiness to perceive and react to rejection. The desire to belong is a basic human need. Some maintain equanimity while others over-react in ways that harm their relationships and their well-being. Hostility and aggression are among the most destructive reactions to rejection. Low self-esteem, depression, jealousy, self-neglect and a breakdown of daily routine are other painful outcomes of being rejected. Social rejection is the strongest predictor of violence in adolescents (Surgeon General 2001). This association between rejection and aggression is also repeatedly shown in social experiments.

Rejection triggers behaviours internalised during interactions with parents during infancy and early childhood. Based on these interactions children form certain expectations regarding the satisfaction or rejection of their needs. When childhood needs are met sensitively and consistently the child forms secure expectations. When childhood needs are met with rejection the child forms a pattern of insecure expectations involving doubts and anxieties. These repeated early interactions determine the individuals attachment style - the communication pattern exhibited in close relationships.

Aggression is first learned during infancy as a response to separation from the mother. The purpose is to reunite with the mother and discourage future separation. Adults who are socially immature respond to separation from a loved one with shouting, crying, and throwing or smashing objects. Again the purpose is to protect the relationship. Men with a fearful or preoccupied attachment style are more likely to be jealous, violent and abusive in intimate relationships. This tendency to violence increases when the relationship is threatened. Males with a fearful attachment style are anxious about gaining their partners approval and at the same time are fearful of being rejected by them. These males are more likely to attribute negative intent to their partners. This combination of internal conflict and external blame makes men with a fearful attachment style respond to rejection with aggression (Leary 2006).

Jealousy is the precursor of aggression in many close relationships. Jealousy occurs when people believe that another person does not sufficiently value their relationship because of the presence or intrusion of a third party. Men who are abusive have higher interpersonal jealousy. Abused women and the men who abuse them report jealousy as the most common precursor to violence. Among both men and women, intimate violence is often provoked by real or imagined infidelity (Leary 2006). We have already discussed jealousy in the context of the family.

Rejection-sensitivity is a personality characteristic associated with aggression elicited by rejection in love and romance. People high in rejection sensitivity (Downey 1996)

1. Anxiously expect rejection by significant people in their lives.
2. Readily perceive intentional rejection in the ambiguous or insensitive behaviour of their new partner.
3. Over-react to rejection

Gender differences (Downey 1996) dictate that men with high rejection sensitivity manifest jealousy in the face of perceived rejection. Their consequent attempts to control their love object’s interactions with other males leads to further dissatisfaction in the relationship. When they are not successful in this they respond with rage - the common fallout of jealousy. Females react to perceived rejection with hostility and withdrawal of support. Both gender reactions lead to dissatisfaction with the partner and subsequent breakup of the relationship. If taken to an extreme, the jealousy in the rejection sensitive male can lead to fatal consequences for object of his affections.

Despite these negative experiences rejection sensitive people are repeatedly drawn to intimate relationships. The new relationship is viewed as an opportunity for acceptance. Initially they work hard to ingratiate themselves with their partner. However, the inevitable transient negativity, insensitivity, or preoccupation triggers the deeply ingrained anxieties and expectations of rejection. The person over-reacts to minor and ambiguous signals from the love object and starts the cycle of dissatisfaction in the relationship.

Rejection sensitivity is deeply ingrained in the personality. An intimate partner or a therapist can alter the expectancies and anxieties about rejection. It is possible for the rejection sensitive person to develop better conflict resolution skills. But only when there is a high degree of motivation in the rejection-sensitive person and a skilled, and nurturing partner.

References

1. Özlem Ayduk, Anett Gyurak, and Anna Luerssen. Individual differences in the rejection-aggression link in the hot sauce paradigm: The case of Rejection Sensitivity. J Exp Soc Psychol. 2008 May 1; 44(3): 775–782. doi: 10.1016/j.jesp.2007.07.004
2. Downey G, Feldman SI. Implications of rejection sensitivity for intimate relationships. J Pers Soc Psychol. 1996 Jun;70(6):1327-43.
3. Leary MR, Twenge JM, Quinlivan E. Interpersonal rejection as a determinant of anger and aggression. Pers Soc Psychol Rev. 2006;10(2):111-32.
4. Office of the Surgeon General. (2001). Youth violence: A report of the Surgeon General. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.