Is your ADHD teenager ready for hostel?

ADHD teens with appropriate life skills can live independently

Does your teenager with ADHD have the life skills to survive in hostel? She did well in her 12th board exams and scored high in the CET. To attend the engineering college of her choice she has to move from home to a hostel in another city. Given her difficulty organising her daily schedule, would she be better off doing the same subjects at the local engineering college? The answer would depend on her personality and the life skills she has acquired.

ADHD teenager personality types

Teenagers with ADHD are of 3 character types: the optimistic, the terrified and the lost. They are placed into these categories depending on their productivity and anxiety (either too much or too little).

• The optimistic teen does not worry. He is excited about the independence that college life will bring, but may not realise that freedom comes with responsibilities (financial, social and personal). If he's still disorganised at home he will be more so in hostel where the distractions are multiple and there is no guiding hand.
• The terrified teen is intensely anxious. She needs reassurance and help in planning the future step by step. If she still waits for you to clear her way round a difficulty she will hesitate to seek help when she is in hostel.
• The lost teen displays a lack of energy and positive view towards life. He is easily depressed and defeated. He has to be repeatedly reminded and encouraged to do what needs to be done. If you still have to push him to get work done he's unlikely to function well from hostel.

Life skills for teenagers with ADHD

ADHD hinders development of the  coping and self-management component of life skills due to inattention and impulsivity. Adolescents with ADHD need to focus on three aspects of this component for transition to independent living away from home.

1. Motivation is first – there has to be the will to achieve. The ADHD teen needs clear goals and has to evaluate them objectively — are they achievable? Clear short-term, mid-term and long term goals are necessary – persistence is required. If a particular course is not available in the local colleges, can he take the initiative to locate an alumnus from school who is pursuing the same elsewhere? He must make a list of pros and cons  – then make a choice – and not procrastinate.
   
2. Time management is a big challenge for most students with ADHD. They should not take on too much initially. ADD adolescents should concentrate on their classes, keep track of assignments, and organize daily notes. They should use a planner to schedule daily activities. A large calendar on the wall for upcoming assignments, project submissions, and exam dates is a big help. The teenager with ADHD needs to get to know her limits, then push them a little at a time to see if more is achievable. She should set some daily routines – get up at the same time everyday, have healthy, regular meals (this is often neglected when staying away from home), and do the laundry.
   Attendance at classes is non-negotiable (all colleges insist on a minimum attendance). The teenager with ADHD must ensure she takes her medication on time and follow-up regularly for refills. When taking a break she should do something that has a limited time span. For example she could read a few pages of a book, watch TV for 15 minutes, or chat with a friend for 10 min.  She must make time for the additional administrative tasks college entails: paying her college fees, creating and sticking to a budget, making time to go to the ATM. These tasks should be entered in the weekly planner.
3. Self-understanding and awareness of strengths and challenges is the key to making intelligent choices. The ADHD adolescent should not hesitate to seek help, from teachers, friends and the counsellor specially if falling back in his schedule. Strategies for learning and study skills training with the counsellor are helpful.

The ADD teenager, like any other adolescent, is transitioning from dependence on the family to increasing adult independence. The life skills he acquires would dictate the ease of this transition. Teenagers with ADHD who have acquired the necessary life skills would be better able to cope with the transition from home to hostel without adversely affecting academic performance.

References

1. Economic and Social Commission for Asia and the Pacific. Life Skills Training Guide for Young People. United Nations. 2003 (Accessed 08-Nov-2014)
2. ADDitude. The Real Whirled: 8 Essential Life Skills for ADHD Teens. Accessed 25-Nov-14.

Treatment of social anxiety, phobia and self-consciousness

Avoiding social situations because they make you self conscious and anxious? You are likely to have a social phobia or social anxiety disorder. One in 10 persons experiences social phobia between the age of  9-33years. The incidence is highest in adolescence (Beesdo et al 2007). Men and women are equally likely to suffer. However, men are more likely to seek treatment when their performance at work is impaired.

Social anxiety usually begins in childhood or early adolescence. There is often a history of childhood shyness. A stressor or humiliating social experience can precipitate the problem. In fact paediatric social phobia affects 5-10% of children. In children it is often associated with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), depression or separation anxiety disorder. Longstanding social phobia increases the risk of depression, substance abuse, and alcoholism later in adulthood.

Recognising social phobia

“My mind went blank during the interview. I break into a sweat, my voice changes. I know what is being asked but I am just not able to concentrate and answer with confidence.”

You have social phobia when you feel that everyone is staring at you or judging you during social interactions. There is a persistent and intense fear of being embarrassed and humiliated by your own actions. This especially occurs in public places such as at work, during office 14meetings, while shopping and at social gatherings. The feelings persist even though rationally you know its not true. These fears may become so severe that they interfere with your work, school or college. They make it hard for you to socialise and make or keep friends.

When you decide to confront these fears and join the party or attend a meeting, you are anxious for days beforehand in anticipation of the dreaded situation. Thoughts of a discussion with your boss make you break into a sweat. You may have panic attacks. Your sleep may be increasingly disturbed as the day of the meeting approaches. Reasoning and reassuring yourself as to the non-threatening nature of the situation brings no relief. You are sweating and can feel your heart race during the encounter. After the encounter you worry about how you were judged for hours afterwards. You feel ashamed that you did not perform better. It becomes easier for you to just stay away from social situations and avoid other people altogether.

“I hesitate to enter the room when the group is already seated. When it comes to my turn to speak my mouth goes dry and I feel choked. I don't speak a word during the meeting even when I have something to contribute.”

People with social anxiety can present with different secondary symptoms

• Some people cannot write in public (as on a blackboard), their hand will shake, their cheques bounce
• They experience severe anxiety about eating and drinking in public and often spill food and drop their cutlery
• Others find it a torture to speak in front of people, they just ‘clam up,’ speak in monosyllables or stammer
• One of the worst circumstances is meeting people who are authority figures- bosses, supervisors, interviewers at work; or teachers & examiners at school. A job interview is torture, more so because the person knows that he would be good at the job if only he could get through the interview.

People with social phobia avoid situations in which they feel embarrassment and anxiety. Initially they are comfortable with this avoidance. Later, they see avoidance as an impediment to achieving their full potential in their chosen careers. They see their social lives as stale and restricted. To address these problems people mistakenly enrol for ‘personality development’, meditation and other courses. But this is not the shyness of introversion. This shyness results from overwhelming anxiety and embarrassment. They are frustrated when there is no resolution. The underlying social phobia has not been addressed.

In a child with social phobia this anxiety expresses itself as tantrums, crying or just “freezing up”. In school, the child typically does not participate in classroom activities, is reluctant to stand up and answer, has no friends and frequently misses school with complaints of stomach ache or headache. Outside school these children have few or no friends. They may communicate only with family members.

“My daughter doesn't speak a word when we have visitors. The other children are playing together, she has to be pulled out of her room to join them.”

How is social phobia best treated?

The best treatments of social anxiety include

1. Medication: is usually for a limited period, under supervision. Do not stop taking medication abruptly. Discuss any side effects, if any, with your psychiatrist.
2. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy – CBT: and systematic desensitisation properly administered for 6-12 sessions can produce long lasting, permanent relief. You have to be motivated to persist in the practice of the simple methods and techniques that are explained to you. Do not use any advice available online without due thought and discussion with your psychiatrist

What you can do for a family member with social phobia

• Be supportive. Help the individual seek psychiatric treatment. Many a career has been advanced or saved by a supportive spouse. Family interaction and communication also improves.
• Don’t trivialise (‘its normal to be nervous when you meet new people, you do not have to go for therapy’).
• Don’t perpetuate their symptoms (‘let it be, stay at home if you are not feeling well’).

Family support helps during behavioural desensitisation therapy and decreases the social isolation of the individual. Social phobias and anxieties are treatable conditions. Treatment and therapies are effective and easily accessed.

References

1. Beesdo K, Bittner A, Pine DS, Stein MB, Höfler M, Lieb R, Wittchen HU. Incidence of social anxiety disorder and the consistent risk for secondary depression in the first three decades of life. Arch Gen Psychiatry. 2007 Aug;64(8):903-12.