Happiness

What is happiness? 

Happiness is a state of subjective well-being which includes: 

1. An affective component - A feeling of joy or pleasure
2. A cognitive component - A sense of contentment and satisfaction of living a meaningful life

The Ancient Greeks knew them by the terms hedonia and eudaimonia respectively, and though distinct, the two strongly correlate in people who report being happy. Happiness is, therefore, not about jumping from one joy to another, but also a deeper sense of fulfilment. 

Each one of us is unique and is made happy by a different experience, yet some people tend to be happier than others even through hard times. Do happy people share some common traits? It does appear so. Those who report feeling happy are generally 

1. Open to learning new things 
2. Find joys in the small things in life. 
3. Have healthy relationships. 
4. Have fewer expectations and do not register small annoyances. 
5. Tend to go with the flow. 
6. Practice compassion, gratitude and patience. 
7. Exercise self-care. 

Temperament, personality traits and even genetics may determine our ability to be happy, and external circumstances do play a part, but much is under our personal control. Being aware of small pleasures, maintaining strong and healthy relationships, immersing oneself in challenging activities and finding purpose in life beyond oneself are ways in which we can find and nurture happiness. 

According to Seligman, happiness results from people becoming aware of their own personal strengths, taking ownership of them and living as per these ‘signature strengths’. 

Why happiness is good for us

Happiness is the single-most desired outcome across cultures and a priority for people across the world. 

• It makes for a higher quality of life
• A positive affect tends to improve our problem-solving abilities
• Improves physical health – better cardiovascular health and immune response
• Increases longevity

Association of happiness and wealth 

Most of us tend to associate happiness with wealth, belongings, success and status. However, beyond a point that enables us to fulfil our basic needs (food, shelter, safety and security), money has little correlation with happiness. 

An increase in income is almost always associated with increasing needs and desires, leading to a situation known as the hedonic treadmill, with no resultant increase in happiness. Indeed, there is a theory that each of us have a ‘set point’ of happiness, and quickly adapt to good or bad circumstances, returning to our baseline levels of happiness! 

In conclusion is Immanuel Kant’s wonderful yet simple Rules for Happiness.

 something to do, someone to love, something to hope for

References

• The Psychology, Theory, and Science of Happiness (+ 16 Best Articles) (positivepsychology.com)
• Psychology of Happiness - Psychologist World
• Happiness | Psychology Today 

Popularity

Popularity is neither fame nor greatness - William Hazlitt

Popularity is the quality of being well-liked, admired or supported by a number of people. But as we all know many popular people are not well-liked, and many well-liked people are not popular.

Psychologists therefore define two types of popularity which are related but distinct.

Sociometric popularity:

is how well-liked an individual is. This is strongly determined by who a person is – their personality and pro-social behaviours – empathy, kindness and helpful attitude towards others.

Perceived popularity:

is closer to the commonly understood concept of popularity and is dependent on what a person is – their looks, wealth, possessions. It is related to status within the social group.

Popularity also depends on the existing environment or social group one is currently a part of- a person can be popular among friends but not at work; at work among superiors but not among peers or subordinates.

Why do we crave popularity?

Social beings that we humans are, we need to belong. The desire to be part of a group, to be liked and to have status within it is innate. As children, these needs are mainly fulfilled by the family. In adolescence, we desire to be independent and free of parental control, so we seek belongingness in peer groups. Not all group members are equal, nor perceived equally. There is a hierarchy of interpersonal attraction, determined partly by personality traits (who we are) and a great deal by what we are (good-looking, highly visible, outspoken, having the latest gadgets, good in sports) which in turn determines popularity. Ironically, traits like aggression and dominance often increases status and perceived popularity within a peer group.

Adult outcomes 

Sociometric popularity or ‘likability’ often translates to better outcomes in adult life. Their ability to make a person feel valued and included makes for better relationships and makes them good team leaders at work. Those rated high on perceived popularity or ‘status’ are often not liked even as adults and may have a history of poor relationships, anxiety, addictions and aggression. 

To be part of a group and to be popular within the group is advantageous. There is acceptance, companionship, security and approval, which in turn increases our own sense of self-worth. However, there is a price to be paid for popularity. 

• Popularity brings with it the pressure to conform: to always like, behave and believe in the same things as others in the group. 
• Popularity requires pleasing others: when you fail to please you risk becoming unpopular.
• Popularity breeds insincerity: you may have to pretend to be what you are not.
• Popularity is precarious: there is always a chance that you may offend someone.
• Popularity is competitive and is likely to invite jealousy, envy and ill-will.

In today’s world, pursuing status has become a normal activity determined by the number of likes, retweets and followers on social media platforms. This encourages people to voice opinions which gets them more likes or retweets, not what they believe in. Status or popularity becomes more important than friendships, and even more important than integrity and honesty.  

It is better to be true to yourself, to feel confident and secure enough to be able to express your own individuality and have your own opinions rather than aim to be popular. 

It is also good to remember that popularity is not about friendship. Popularity is more about rank and social status. Friendships are about caring, respecting and valuing others. It is better to be content with a few close friends,  companions you can have fun with and to develop the capacity to enjoy your own company.

References

1. Speaking of Psychology: Why popularity matters (apa.org)
2. Adolescence and the pursuit of popularity. | Psychology Today
3. The Dark Side Of Adolescent Popularity -- ScienceDaily