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Parenting an Adolescent

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Adolescence is a time of transition . Most parents find themselves bewildered by the changes in their previously affectionate and obedient children. Mood changes, withdrawal, monosyllabic answers and arguments find most parents asking, “What have we done wrong?” Adolescence is marked by profound changes brought about by the hormonal surge at puberty. The physical changes are accompanied by emotional, behavioural and intellectual changes to which the child has to adapt rapidly. “As their bodies, brains and worlds rearrange themselves, you (parents) will need to do your own reshuffling.” Changing role of parenting adolescents The need for autonomy, independence and a search for one’s own unique identity is an essential part of adolescence. Often, this is achieved by questioning and testing existing rules and norms. Make space for this quest. Handle an occasional error of judgement with explanations rather than with accusations and confrontation. The essentials of parenting ...

Making the Cut—Self-cutting in Adolescents

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Self-cutting in adolescents is the strongest predictor for subsequent suicide attempts. It is a clear signal of severe psychological pain being released physically by the act of self-cutting. However, relief is only temporary, and if ignored self-cutting can progress to suicide. Self-cutting and Suicide Repeated self-cutting in adolescents is the strongest predictor of attempted suicide. 70% of those who self-cut will attempt suicide at least once. The number of suicide attempts increases with the number of years engaged in self-cutting (Nock 2006). The risk of attempted suicide is higher than with any other psychiatric disorder including depression and borderline personality disorder. Self-cutting may be a uniquely important risk factor for suicide because its presence is associated with both increased desire and capability for suicide (Klonsky 2013). Ms LM, 15 years old, was brought by her parents for counselling after a suicide attempt. She subsequently revealed repeated se...

Anger—effect on your child

Effect of Anger on your Child Anger has a silent but permanent effect on your child . Anger can affect your professional life, harm relationships, and has significant health implications. But quite apart from how it affects you personally, it affects your children. Children of angry adults have been seen to be more aggressive, oppositional and non-compliant. They are also less empathetic; and display poor overall social adjustment. Delinquency and anti-social behaviour are also more common in such children. Is anger hereditary or learned? A child experiences emotions from birth , but how he/she handles emotions is largely determined by learning. While a child may have an irritable temperament, no child is born with temper tantrums. A child learns that throwing a temper tantrum is rewarding (gets attention or gets him what he wants). From infancy onward, children learn by imitation . As parents, we are the first role models. Our children watch us; and then model their behavi...

Biology of Anger

We all get angry at times. But some of us get angry often and what is worse, we do not seem to be able to control it. We lash out verbally and sometimes physically at objects and people around us. Can we do something about our anger or is it something over which we have no control? Let us seek to understand the evolutionary basis of anger and what happens inside our brains when we are angry. Anger is usually provoked by a threat; either real or perceived. Our ancestors had to react (and react immediately) to survive; or to protect themselves or their resources. To take time to think would be to lose valuable time. So the brain evolved a mechanism for immediate action. An almond-shaped area of grey matter deep within our brains - the amygdala perceives threat and generates the emotions of anger and fear. It raises an alarm, and kick-starts the body responses which we collectively know as “arousal”. Our heart beats faster to pump blood to our muscles, the muscles tense for acti...

Impulse Control Disorders – Skin Picking, Hair Pulling & More

Skin Picking, Hair Pulling & other Impulse Control Disorders Impulse control disorders are a treatable group of disorders which share a common feature. This is the failure to resist an impulse or temptation to do something harmful, either to oneself or to others. The person usually senses increasing tension or arousal prior to the act; and pleasure, gratification or relief following the act. Common Impulse Control Disorders Trichotillomania or Compulsive Hair Pulling Dermatillomania or Skin Picking Disorder Kleptomania Compulsive Buying Disorder Pathological Gambling Internet Addiction Trichotillomania in simple terms is compulsive hair pulling . There is a recurrent or persistent urge to pull out hair leading to noticeable hair loss – usually from the scalp but sometimes from the eyelashes and eyebrows. It occurs more often in females and starts in adolescence. Sometimes the person may do it consciously, but mostly she is unaware of it, doing it when she is alone; ...